[Peckers_Pics] Male/Gay Health-Discussion-PICS Re: Male/Gay Health-Discussion-PICS Dear Dr. Laura

Hilarious!

 

Would love to see how the bible thumpers respond to these questions ....

 

*greg

 

----- Original Message -----

From: W B

To: Peckers_Pics@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Friday, November 11, 2011 8:20 AM

Subject: [Peckers_Pics] Male/Gay Health-Discussion-PICS Dear Dr. Laura

 

Dear Dr. Laura:
 
I need some advice from you, regarding some of specific laws and how to follow them.
 
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
 
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
 
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual unseemliness - Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell?  I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
 
4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female,provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.  Can you clarify?  Why can't I own Canadians?
 
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.  Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
 
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.  Can you settle this?
 
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.  I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
 
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.  How should they die?
 
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
 
10. My uncle has a farm.  He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot.  Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? Lev.24:10:14)
 
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.  Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
 
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

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