Thursday, August 12, 2010

[TOWWFFC] Miz = Kangaroo Poop?

 

It's Official...You've Been Bamboozled: The Miz Looks Even Worse Live!
By Kingly One
(Featured Columnist) on August 12, 2010

Having attended the most recent episode of RAW live, I was especially
fortunate to have witnessed what was arguably the best episode of RAW in
many months. The action was absolutely fantastic, and the environment was
indescribably great.

However, amidst the magnificent displays of uncanny athleticism demonstrated
by WWE's elite athletes, one thing stood out most glaringly: The magic of
editing makes The Miz look so much better on TV than he does live.

(Inasmuch as he is not a wrestler by any stretch of the imagination based
solely on what you can see on TV, you'll have to see it to believe how bad
he looks live.)

Before I begin the fourth installment of my vitriolic attack on the Miz, I
must say that the one thing about live shows is that it makes the best
athletes look better, and the worst athletes look worse.

So, needless to say, you have not yet witnessed the high-flying action of
Evan Bourne and John Morrison until you have seen it live and in-person.

With Miz, on the other hand, when watching him wrestle live, he was so slow
that it was almost like watching him in slow motion.

The editors of the WWE try to hide how slow his movements are by earnestly
covering up his crappy rope runs, and other movements where his insufficient
speed would be exposed, by using clever camera angles.

In a match where Bourne brought down the house with gravity-defying
huracanranas and otherwise amazing maneuvers, Miz demonstrated his patented
offense of a few feeble kicks, a lethargic leg choke on the rope, a
clothesline, and his notorious "I just learned to wrestle yesterday"
finisher.

The fact that the match was not a complete snooze-fest can only be credited
to the awesomeness that is Evan Bourne's offense, and his unique ability to
make pillow-offense look like devastating smash-mouth style.

Understanding that it is an idiotic strategy to put the Miz in the ring with
subpar athletes while expecting not to induce sleep from the crowds, WWE
readily put Miz in the main event match the next night on NXT with the very
talented John Morrison (whose name, by the way, is clearly labeled on the
monstrous push that Miz is currently receiving).

And, as expected, what we saw was a good match in which Morrison manifestly
carried Miz throughout the entire thing, only to, alas, job to him at the
end.

So Miz had two good matches in one week, and he unsurprisingly won both of
them. Now Mizfits can say, "Did you not see this match he had with Evan
Bourne? It was amazing!" Yes it was, but what made it amazing? You guessed
it! Not the Miz. Evan Bourne did.

Until this day, Miz fans have yet to produce a single match that he has
wrestled in which is opponent doesn't do all the work during it, only to job
to the Miz at the end. His Money in the Bank briefcase win, as explained
before, followed this exact same formula.

The painful truth of the matter is that Miz wrestles with the technical
proficiency and ring-savvy of the worst WWE Divas. As noted before, he moves
around the ring like a drunken Ashley Massaro on an overdose of crack, and
has the in-ring skills of Maryse.

Considering that Miz's in-ring routine is solely comprised of basic leg
chokes; pulling hair into basic mat slams; basic clotheslines; feeble kicks;
perfunctory rest holds; stalling to give the appearance-to those who know
very little about wrestling-of having an understanding of timing; and
finishing matches with his lame finisher, it's no surprise that none of his
supporters can take up his critics on the offer to provide any evidence of
his purportedly awesome in-ring skills.

The purpose of this article is not only to point out that Miz is worse live
than he looks on TV, but to also, more importantly, expose the fact the WWE's
approach to booking Miz is to give him the very best carriers that they can
possibly find.

They do this so these talented wrestlers can sell his offense better than it
ought to be sold, all while executing exciting moves of their own, which all
amounts to making Miz look like a million bucks in the eyes of those who are
too blinded to see that he does, well, nothing of note.

One has to admire the dedicated lengths that WWE has gone to in protecting
their golden boy, even though he has, time after time, proven to be
gold-plated kangaroo poop.

Whether or not you want to festoon kangaroo poop with diamonds, pearls, and
gold, the fact still remains that under all those embellishments, it is
kangaroo poop.

It's a shame that all it takes is an undeserved United States title around
his puny waist; a cheesy catchphrase; an undeserved world championship
opportunity at his disposal; the wonders of editing and camera angles in his
favor; and endless favorable matches with the most talented workers used as
his personal jobbers to bamboozle people into believing they are looking at
a legitimate wrestling star.

To anyone at this point who still believes that the Miz is a fantastic
wrestler, there is a bridge to nowhere that I'd like to sell you.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/434209-its-official-youve-been-bamboozled-the-miz-looks-even-worse-live?utm_source=newsletter

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