Tuesday, January 31, 2012

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Alzheimer's Disease Caregivers: How to Improve Communication

By Ellen Wlody / January 31, 2012

Caring for elderly loved ones can be challenging. And when Alzheimer's robs them of the ability to talk, you both may feel lost. Read on for tips to communicate better and ease their frustration – and yours...

You notice your father missed a doctor's appointment or is forgetting common words. Soon, he repeats the same simple question or struggles to retrieve family members' names. When advanced symptoms of dementia set in, he may speak less to avoid making mistakes or get angry when you try to help him.

When you're caring for an elderly person with Alzheimer's disease, communicating can become one of your biggest challenges. But it's critical to his well being.

"People with Alzheimer's want to maintain social relationships," says Richard Caselli, M.D., professor of neurology at Mayo Clinic Arizona and clinical core director for the Arizona Alzheimer's Disease Center.

Communication also keeps them occupied when the disease limitstheir independence.

"It prevents them from getting bored and looking for things to do," Caselli says. "[Without it,] they may start wandering or get into some other trouble."

As a caregiver, you may be struggling with the best ways to offer support and keep your loved one from harm. Here are 9 tips that can help:

1. Speak gently and make eye contact.
A person with Alzheimer's disease has trouble processing the world around him, says Barbara Moscowitz, M.S.W., Li.C.S.W., of the Departments of Social Services and Geriatrics at Massachusetts General Hospital. "To him, it feels like he's standing in the middle of chaos. Nothing makes sense."

Maintain a sense of calm by speaking in a normal voice and looking him in the eye so he stays focused on you.

Resist the urge to speak loudly, which many of us do when we don't think we're being understood, says Laurie Spresser, a licensed therapist who works with Alzheimer's patients and their families at Mayo Clinic Arizona.

You want him to focus on your words, rather than your tone, which canprevent him from processing what you're saying.

2. Keep it simple.
Short, basic requests are most effective for getting your point across. As your loved one's Alzheimer's disease progresses, so will his ability to follow multi-step directions, says Beth Kallmyer, M.S.W., senior director of constituent services for the Alzheimer's Association.

For example, if you'd like laundry help, hand him a basket of clothes and ask him to fold them. A series of requests (take the clothes out of the washer, put them in the dryer, and fold them once they're done) will frustrate him because he can't remember all those steps.

Eventually, you'll need to break down even the simplest requests and pose yes-or-no questions, says Spresser.

Instead of offering a choice like "Do you want coffee or tea?" ask him if he wants coffee and wait for an answer, she suggests. If he says no, ask him if he'd like tea.

Although you're simplifying your speech, don't be condescending. Alzheimer's patients have trouble communicating, but they are – in the early and middle stages – still able to recognize when they're beingtalked down to, Kallmyer says.

3. Talk about feelings.
Your loved one may have trouble expressing the frustration of living with Alzheimer's disease. Offer comfort by identifying those feelings for him.

When you see your loved one getting upset, "acknowledge the emotion – whether it's anger, frustration or sadness – and offer to talk about it," Kallmyer says.

To open the conversation, you could say: "I know this is frustrating for you," "You look sad" or "I know you like to be independent."

Even if he can't respond, acknowledging his feelings can calm him down, Kallmyer says.

4. Ask how you can help.
When you notice your loved one struggling with a simple task, like retrieving the right word, you might wonder whether to chime in orlet him figure it out himself.

"Some people with Alzheimer's don't want you to fill in the word," Kallmyer says. "They feel patronized, which disrupts their thought process."

To find how to respond, wait a minute or two, and then say, "You just had trouble remembering a word. If that happens again, how do you want me to handle it?"

If he doesn't have an answer, suggest a secret signal, like pointing at you or patting your arm when he wants you to help.

"It helps when family members talk about these things and agree on a strategy," Kallmyer says.

5. Create a reminder system.
In the early stages of Alzheimer's disease, your loved one may be able to live on his own – with a little help. Keeping to a schedule can be one of the most challenging tasks, so work out a system of reminders. Mark acalendar with tasks and events, such as doctor's appointments.

If he's not able to follow the calendar, call every morning and review the day's schedule. Offer to drive him to his appointments to ensure he makes them.

A trusted friend or neighbor can also help with reminders or trips to important appointments, if you're unable to do so.

6. Add labels to common objects.
Notes and signs can help Alzheimer's patients get through the day more independently.

Use a label maker or post sticky notes on the TV remote, for example, to identify what it is and the right button to push to turn it on. Labels on dresser drawers can make it easier for him to dress himself, and signs on doors will help him locate the bedroom or bathroom.

Labels don't have to be limited to written notes, says Kallmyer. You can use them in conversation as well. If your loved one is having trouble recognizing people, for example, identify them as they approach.

Use short, specific sentences, such as, "Dad, Bobby's here. He's my son, your oldest grandson." At mealtime, you could say, "I have your lunch. It'stomato soup. Here's the spoon. It's time to eat."

Visual cues help too. As you name objects, point to them to jump-start recognition, suggests Spresser. Your loved one may even learn to mimic this behavior and point to an object when he can't recall its name, she adds.

7. Use the power of touch.
As your loved one's symptoms of dementia increase and his ability to express himself decreases, he'll appreciate a hug or a hand to hold. In fact, touch can become the most important form of communication you have.

If he seems frustrated or anxious, rest your hand on his to calm him down. Touch can also help you guide his actions. At bedtime, take his hand, help him up from his chair, and guide him toward the bedroom. At mealtime, direct his hand to the fork or spoon.

Touch also helps you stay connected, especially in later stages of the disease. "Talk about memories of things you did together, and hold or rub his hand," Kallmyer suggests. "You might get a smile."

8. Don't argue about facts.
Your loved one will have trouble understanding why he's misplacing things. As a result, he can become suspicious or accuse you of moving, or stealing, his belongings.

Try not to argue or reason with him. It will only make things worse, says Spresser. "You can't use logic; your loved one may not be able to understand it."

Instead, acknowledge the emotions: "I see you're angry. I know it's frustrating when you lose something." Then offer to help him.

When all else fails, change the topic. Ask him if he'd like to take a walk or wants a snack.

9. Go with the flow.
As Alzheimer's disease progresses, communication problems will change, so solutions must too.

"The progression of the disease isn't necessarily linear," Kallmyer says. "Your loved one can appear to have a symptom one day, and then be better the next. It goes back and forth."

Often, you'll have to be flexible and try new approaches to find what works. If a tactic fails once, try it again another time. You might havebetter luck later.
Take Action:
  • Boycott Bill O'Reilly and FOX News and their advertisers. Bill discussed a French commercial by McDonalds that was meant to show that McDonalds is Gay Friendly. Bill said what is next? Is McDonalds going to be Al-Qaida friendly as well? Imagine - Bill O'Reilly compares Gays to Al-Qaida! Further, Boycott Fox's Owner "Rupert Murcoch" and get him thrown in jail for illegal - Take Action:
    political donations, corruption, greed, bribery, hacking!
  • Boycott Target, Best Buy, Gold's Gym - for donating money towards anti-gay political candidates/organizations. Update: (12/26/2010): Target is continuing to donate to anti-gay groups/causes/politicians. Update 03/08/11 - Lady Gaga Ends Target Partnership, Reportedly Over Target's Poor LGBT Stance. Update 3/25/2010 - Target displays their hypocrisy and Sues California Gay Rights Group for Lobbying Outside Stores. Target is attempting to block the LGBT right of free speech! STOP SHOPPING AT TARGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Update 4/8/2011: Target lost its case to stop the LGBT from canvassing in front of their stores. A huge PR Disaster for TARGET! Perhaps Target should go out of business as they betrayed their investers and customer base. Target contributed massive funds to a politician who would like to exterminate gays. Now, Target can not stop us from Boycotting them, nor picketing, nor talking to customers near their stores; although, Target allows a anti-gay company such as the Salvation Army to stand outside their door and speak with customers and raise money. Isn't this a double standard?
  • End DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act). Prevents Federal employees and Gays in the Military from gaining equal benefits. Prevents Gay Partners from gaining equal benefits.
  • Pass a LGBT friendly ENDA (Employee Non-Discrimination Act). ENDA would prevent employment discrimination of LGBT workforce.
  • Boycott Salvation Army as they will not hire Gays! "DO NOT DONATE TO THEM."
  • BOYCOTT "Chick-fil-a" for donating money to anti-gay groups.
  • BOYCOTT KOCH INDUSTRIES PRODUCTS- to include their products: Angel Soft toilet paper / Brawny paper towels / Dixie plates, bowls, napkins & cups / Mardi Gras napkins and towels / Quilted Northern toilet paper / Soft 'n Gentle toilet paper / Sparkle napkins / Vanity fair napkins / Zee napkins / Georgia-Pacific paper products & envelopes / All Georgia-Pacific lumber & building products (INVISTA Products) / Lycra / Stainmaster Carpet. The billionaire - Koch brothers are ultra republican - tea bag founders/supporters that do not support causes of the LGBT community.
  • Boycott WALMART - The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force criticized Wal-Mart for denying employee benefits to same-s-x partners and for failing to prohibit discrimination based on gender identity. By comparison, the group said two other chain stores with a strong presence in New York, Costco and Walgreens, did much better.
  • "Tune Out Trump", Boycott all Trump Hotel, casinos, holdings, The Apprentice and NBC Network! At CPAC, Trump said he is considering a run for president as a Republican. In a interview with the Des Moines Register, Trump added that he opposes all forms of legal recognition for gay couples, not just marriage. "They should not be able to marry," he said. So why does NBC keep the Apprentice when Donald Trump has stated he may run for president? After making racist remarks about Obama and recv'g public backlash, Trump decided not to run for president after NBC renewed his awful TV Show. How can NBC re-new the clown's show after he pulled such hateful shenanigans?
  • Boycott Georgia for Execution of Troy Davis @ 11:08 EST, Sep 21, 2011:
    Former US President and Former GA Gov. Jimmy Carter felt that TROY DAVIS should not be executed and deserved a re-trial. The Former Director of the FBI felt that TROY DAVIS Was Not Guilty! Do not drive through Goergia as it is dangerous. Do not fly via Atlanta. For your safety -Do not travel to GA. TELL YOUR COMPANY NOT TO PARTICIPATE IN A CONVENTION IN GA! "Georgia Executes Innocent People!"

And Now, Our War of the Fittest!

This group is called "Peckers Pics." The English - slang definition of "pecker" is to pluck at the truth. Therefore, we peck at items such as Gay Men's Health, Male Fitness, Gay (LGBT) Politics & Issues. In this section you may peck at each photo in order to decide the winner of the "war of the fittest!" Whereas, you should select the "Male Athlete" that may inspire you to exercise and "get fit!" Warning: This may stoke you!
Your participation in discussion of health / news articles - appearing in this message is greatly appreciated.
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You Decide!
Club Fresh, San Francisco, CA; Jan 9, 2012
Stoked?
Chaos at Beatbox, San Francisco, CA; Jan 28, 2011
Gay Teen Thanks Lady Gaga but Kills Self; Parents Performed Exorcism on Him
Submitted by Mark Berman, Opposing Views / Jan 31, 2012

A gay California teenager killed himself after his Christian parents performed an exorcism on him in an attempt to "cure" him, and when that didn't work they kicked him out of the house.

The Daily Mail reports 19-year-old Eric James Borges killed himself on January 14 following his family issues, as well as the typical years of torment at school.

He revealed the exorcism story in an "It's Get Better" video that he put on YouTube in the weeks before his suicide, saying "'I was raised in an extremist Christian household... My mother knew I was gay and performed an exorcism on me in an attempt to cure me. My anxiety, depression, self-loathing and suicidal thoughts spiked."

At a memorial service last week in the San Joaquin Valley, California, one friend read from his suicide note:

My pain is not caused because I am gay. My pain was caused by how I was treated because I am gay. To my friends you gave me life and love, never think this was your fault...To Lady Gaga, you have been a fearless relentless proud LGBT advocate.

Ironically, Borges interned at the Trevor Project, which is a group designed to intervene and help gay kids who are thinking about suicide.
 
Here is his "It Gets Better" video:
http://youtu.be/InWhEIaCFkg

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/religion/christianity/gay-teen-kills-self-christian-parents-performed-exorcism-him
Every gay and lesbian person who has been lucky enough to survive the turmoil of growing up is a survivor. Survivors always have an obligation to those who will face the same challenges."
....Jake
 
Urgent Notice: Our ObamaBiden2008 Group works hand - in - hand with Peckers PICS (Both groups were co-created to work with each-other). To prevent duplication of articles and questions, all members of this group are urgently recommended to join ObamaBiden2008 . We have the LGBT boycott list and discuss end of DADT, etc... There are 3 gay teen suicides in the USA - daily! There are Hate crimes against gay people. There are gay people who are fired over their sexual identity. There are gay people who died for our cause! These groups are focused towards Yahoo Members who sincerely care about LGBT rights and are interested in Gay Men's Health! Most important, we have a most critical election in 2012 that shall determine the future of LGBT rights and our health care (as many suffer from pre-existing illness)! Please Join Now!
 
Re-Elect President Barack Obama! - Occupy Wall Street!

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"Every gay and lesbian person who has been lucky enough to survive the turmoil of growing up is a survivor. Survivors always have an obligation to those who will face the same challenges."

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