Model Wars-Jun 16, 2012- / Health-News-PICS
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Health, Wellness, Exercise, Reflections:This Feels like Punishment
By John H. Sklare, Ed.D / June 15, 2012
I received an email from a frustrated woman the other day that ended with the following statement, "This feels like punishment!" I'm sure many of you would agree with this comment but the problem with this perception is that it colors your entire vision and significantly increases the emotional intensity of your struggle. One of my first thoughts here is that the use of the word punishment implies something very important. It suggests that there is a punisher. Seeing the struggle as one that originates from some outside source (a punisher) is a major contributor to your sense of frustration and hopelessness. This is precisely the kind of thinking that pollutes your internal environment, erodes your sense of power and separates you from your ability to take control.
The primary problem with this frame of reference is that it takes the focus and responsibility off of YOU and places it elsewhere. Once you believe that the power and control is out of your hands, the game is pretty much over. There can be no punishment without a punisher. The simple use of this word suggests that you see yourself as a victim at the mercy of some unseen force.
The reality is, from a psychological viewpoint, that those who view healthy living as punishment are both delivering and receiving this so-called punishment. This kind of thinking puts you inside a box with no way out. This point of view is exactly how you create anger, amplify frustration and increase the emotional intensity of your struggle. The thoughts you have set the stage for your experience.
So stop for a second and ask yourself this question: Does this whole process of eating healthy and getting fit feel like punishment to you? If it does, I bet your struggle is very difficult every day. There is no punisher here... there is only YOU! The issues at stake here are control, responsibility and ultimately, your health.
Take Action:
- Boycott Bill O'Reilly and FOX News and their advertisers. Bill discussed a French commercial by McDonalds that was meant to show that McDonalds is Gay Friendly. Bill said what is next? Is McDonalds going to be Al-Quada friendly as well? Imagine - Bill O'Reilly compares Gays to Al-Quada! Further, Boycott Fox's Owner "Rupert Murcoch" and get him thrown in jail for illegal - political donations, bribery, hacking!
- Boycott Target, Best Buy, Gold's Gym - for donating money towards anti-gay political candidates/organizations. Update: (12/26/2010): Target is continuing to donate to anti-gay groups/causes/politicians. Update 03/08/11 - Lady Gaga Ends Target Partnership, Reportedly Over Target's Poor LGBT Stance. Update 3/25/2010 - Target displays their hypocrisy and Sues California Gay Rights Group for Lobbying Outside Stores. Target is attempting to block the LGBT right of free speech! STOP SHOPPING AT TARGET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Update 4/8/2011: Target lost its case to stop the LGBT from canvassing in front of their stores. A huge PR Disaster for TARGET! Perhaps Target should go out of business as they betrayed their investers and customer base. Target contributed massive funds to a politician who would like to exterminate gays. Now, Target can not stop us from Boycotting them, nor picketing, nor talking to customers near their stores; although, Target allows a anti-gay company such as the Salvation Army to stand outside their door and speak with customers and raise money. Isn't this a double standard?
- End DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act). Prevents Federal employees and Gays in the Military from gaining equal benefits. Prevents Gay Partners from gaining equal benefits.
- Pass a LGBT friendly ENDA (Employee Non-Discrimination Act). ENDA would prevent employment discrimination of LGBT workforce.
- Boycott Salvation Army as they will not hire Gays! "DO NOT DONATE TO THEM."
- BOYCOTT "Chick-fil-a" for donating money to anti-gay groups.
- BOYCOTT KOCH INDUSTRIES PRODUCTS- to include their products: Angel Soft toilet paper / Brawny paper towels / Dixie plates, bowls, napkins & cups / Mardi Gras napkins and towels / Quilted Northern toilet paper / Soft 'n Gentle toilet paper / Sparkle napkins / Vanity fair napkins / Zee napkins / Georgia-Pacific paper products & envelopes / All Georgia-Pacific lumber & building products (INVISTA Products) / Lycra / Stainmaster Carpet. The billionaire - Koch brothers are ultra republican - tea bag founders/supporters that do not support causes of the LGBT community.
- Boycott WALMART - The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force criticized Wal-Mart for denying employee benefits to same-s-x partners and for failing to prohibit discrimination based on gender identity. By comparison, the group said two other chain stores with a strong presence in New York, Costco and Walgreens, did much better.
- "Tune Out Trump", Boycott all Trump Hotel, casinos, holdings, The Apprentice and NBC Network! At CPAC, Trump said he is considering a run for president as a Republican. In a interview with the Des Moines Register, Trump added that he opposes all forms of legal recognition for gay couples, not just marriage. "They should not be able to marry," he said. So why does NBC keep the Apprentice when Donald Trump has stated he may run for president? After making racist remarks about Obama and recv'g public backlash, Trump decided not to run for president after NBC renewed his awful TV Show. How can NBC re-new the clown's show after he pulled such hateful shenanigans?
And Now, Our War of the Fittest!
This group is called "Peckers Pics." The English - slang definition of "pecker" is to pluck at the truth. Therefore, we peck at items such as Gay Men's Health, Male Fitness, Gay (LGBT) Politics & Issues. In this section you may peck at each photo in order to decide the winner of the "war of the fittest!" Whereas, you should select the "Male Athlete" that may inspire you to exercise and "get fit!" Warning: This may stoke you!
Your participation in discussion of health / news articles - appearing in this message is greatly appreciated!
Bruno Nicolato
VS
Stevenson Charles
You Decide!
DC - Capital Pride Parade: June 9, 2012
Stoked?
DC - Capital Pride Parade: June 9, 2012
Op-ed: Mitt Romney Versus My Bullying Report
Don Gorton, Mitt Romney
By Don Gorton; Advocate; June 15 2012
Bullying of LGBT kids is something I take personally. I grew up in rural Mississippi during the era of "massive resistance" to desegregation. Conformity was prized above all else. Older boys who detected an androgynous genBy Don Gorton; Advocate; June 15 2012
Bullying of LGBT kids is something I take personally. I grew up in rural Mississippi during the era of "massive resistance" to desegregation. Conformity was prized above all else. Older boys who detected an androgynous gender style when I was in elementary school then used harassment to masculinize me. Bullying was the means by which social and gender role conventions were enforced and uniqueness suppressed.
It worked on me. I modified my posture, the way I crossed my legs, and how I carried my school books all to get the bullies off my back. The word "sissy" still hits me like a splash of acid. I did everything I could to avoid that label, which was the worst thing a boy could be called.
Forced conformity comes at a frightful cost, however, as I learned when I entered adolescence. The part of you that is denied won't leave you in peace; it sears your soul and breeds a profound sense of alienation and isolation. One senses the bleakness of a Hobson's choice: only by pretending to be something one is not can one get by in the teenage social world. The dissonance was too much for me, and on two occasions, at ages 15 and 16, I attempted suicide.
Since I had failed on the first try, I took an abundance of sleeping pills the second time. I lay in my bed listening to Brahms' epic First Symphony and waited to die.
I survived, however, and my parents sent me to a psychiatrist who, unbeknownst to them, was gay. He challenged the internalized homophobia that pervaded my consciousness. When Anita Bryant launched her jihad against gay rights when I was 17, I recognized that her mean-spirited attempts to "save our children" were endangering the lives of people like me. In many ways, she set me on my life path, which involved fighting her and her ilk with every fiber of my being.
Going to Boston for college and law school and adopting the liberal and academic mecca as my home, I immersed myself in activism as a sideline to my career in the law. I went into state government when pro-gay Republican William Weld became governor of Massachusetts in 1991. I practiced tax law but poured my passion into leading the Massachusetts Governor's Task Force on Hate Crimes. After years of optimizing data collection about hate crime occurrences, the Task Force concluded that any solution to bigoted violence lay with the young. It was clear that bullying is the precursor of hate crimes.
An anti-bullying initiative got underway in 2001-2002 with the strong support of Republican Governor Jane Swift. The plan was to survey middle schools around the state to find out what practices they were using and the results they got in terms of bullying reduction. The survey data would be synthesized with the latest academic research on bullying prevention, and packaged in a format that would enable school districts to customize counter-measures -- without the expense of bringing in outside consultants to create anti-bullying programs from scratch.
When Mitt Romney became Massachusetts governor in 2003, the anti-bullying guide was a rough draft, not ready for publication. The Task Force staff were continuing work while I was promoting a comprehensive initiative to accompany the release. Then I got a call from my Task Force Co-Chair who told me that the Task Force was being defunded. The news hit me like a body blow, but I clung to hope that the guide might somehow be spared. That hope died within a couple of months.
On my own, I completed the guide and expanded the academic source material that gave it a solid grounding in the science of bullying prevention. Then I approached another state agency, the Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, for the roughly $10,000 required to publish and distribute the guide. They were enthusiastic. Publication was on track to happen in May of 2006, but the Romney administration intervened to stop production, we now know, because the guide included the words "bisexual" and "transgender." At the time I deduced that Romney's solicitude for right-wing opposition to bullying prevention was to blame, but had no proof.
There's a happy ending to the story of the guide, because Romney was replaced by a staunch supporter of LGBT rights, Democrat Deval Patrick, as governor in 2007. The Patrick administration released the guide statewide in April of 2008. It's still up on the Internet as a free resource for schools who want to do the right thing by targets of bullying. And the bullying of LGBT youth is addressed unabashedly.
We've made progress in bullying prevention since my teenaged years in the 1970s, but we are not nearly where we need to be. Homophobic messages through the media and from influential adults and peers implant the seeds of self-hatred in our young; sustained bullying is simply beyond the capacity of the most vulnerable teens to endure. It is not enough to send encouragement to beleaguered youth promising better times ahead. We must make bullying stop. I won't rest until this transformative change has occurred.
DON GORTON is chairperson of the Anti-Violence Project of Massachusetts and co-author ofDirect from the Field: A Guide to Bullying Prevention.der style when I was in elementary school then used harassment to masculinize me. Bullying was the means by which social and gender role conventions were enforced and uniqueness suppressed.
It worked on me. I modified my posture, the way I crossed my legs, and how I carried my school books all to get the bullies off my back. The word "sissy" still hits me like a splash of acid. I did everything I could to avoid that label, which was the worst thing a boy could be called.
Forced conformity comes at a frightful cost, however, as I learned when I entered adolescence. The part of you that is denied won't leave you in peace; it sears your soul and breeds a profound sense of alienation and isolation. One senses the bleakness of a Hobson's choice: only by pretending to be something one is not can one get by in the teenage social world. The dissonance was too much for me, and on two occasions, at ages 15 and 16, I attempted suicide.
Since I had failed on the first try, I took an abundance of sleeping pills the second time. I lay in my bed listening to Brahms' epic First Symphony and waited to die.
I survived, however, and my parents sent me to a psychiatrist who, unbeknownst to them, was gay. He challenged the internalized homophobia that pervaded my consciousness. When Anita Bryant launched her jihad against gay rights when I was 17, I recognized that her mean-spirited attempts to "save our children" were endangering the lives of people like me. In many ways, she set me on my life path, which involved fighting her and her ilk with every fiber of my being.
Going to Boston for college and law school and adopting the liberal and academic mecca as my home, I immersed myself in activism as a sideline to my career in the law. I went into state government when pro-gay Republican William Weld became governor of Massachusetts in 1991. I practiced tax law but poured my passion into leading the Massachusetts Governor's Task Force on Hate Crimes. After years of optimizing data collection about hate crime occurrences, the Task Force concluded that any solution to bigoted violence lay with the young. It was clear that bullying is the precursor of hate crimes.
An anti-bullying initiative got underway in 2001-2002 with the strong support of Republican Governor Jane Swift. The plan was to survey middle schools around the state to find out what practices they were using and the results they got in terms of bullying reduction. The survey data would be synthesized with the latest academic research on bullying prevention, and packaged in a format that would enable school districts to customize counter-measures -- without the expense of bringing in outside consultants to create anti-bullying programs from scratch.
When Mitt Romney became Massachusetts governor in 2003, the anti-bullying guide was a rough draft, not ready for publication. The Task Force staff were continuing work while I was promoting a comprehensive initiative to accompany the release. Then I got a call from my Task Force Co-Chair who told me that the Task Force was being defunded. The news hit me like a body blow, but I clung to hope that the guide might somehow be spared. That hope died within a couple of months.
On my own, I completed the guide and expanded the academic source material that gave it a solid grounding in the science of bullying prevention. Then I approached another state agency, the Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, for the roughly $10,000 required to publish and distribute the guide. They were enthusiastic. Publication was on track to happen in May of 2006, but the Romney administration intervened to stop production, we now know, because the guide included the words "bisexual" and "transgender." At the time I deduced that Romney's solicitude for right-wing opposition to bullying prevention was to blame, but had no proof.
There's a happy ending to the story of the guide, because Romney was replaced by a staunch supporter of LGBT rights, Democrat Deval Patrick, as governor in 2007. The Patrick administration released the guide statewide in April of 2008. It's still up on the Internet as a free resource for schools who want to do the right thing by targets of bullying. And the bullying of LGBT youth is addressed unabashedly.
We've made progress in bullying prevention since my teenaged years in the 1970s, but we are not nearly where we need to be. Homophobic messages through the media and from influential adults and peers implant the seeds of self-hatred in our young; sustained bullying is simply beyond the capacity of the most vulnerable teens to endure. It is not enough to send encouragement to beleaguered youth promising better times ahead. We must make bullying stop. I won't rest until this transformative change has occurred.
DON GORTON is chairperson of the Anti-Violence Project of Massachusetts and co-author of Direct from the Field: A Guide to Bullying Prevention.
Note from Jake West: This is amazing commentary from a remarkable person. Don Gorton is a person that I truly respect. When Mr. Gorton writes something, I agree with it as his logic has extraordinary logic. Mr. Gorton exhibits great compassion for the LGBT community and we must trust his reasonable judgment that makes him a great leader in this era. "Don Gorton is our Harvey Milk!"
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Thank you!
"Every gay and lesbian person who has been lucky enough to survive the turmoil of growing up is a survivor. Survivors always have an obligation to those who will face the same challenges."
...Jake (Moderator)
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