Marki:
Warren, I certainly appreciate your assessment & example of what you said regarding Jake's & my shared ideals of looking forward rather than dwelling on the past, which does no good at all, especially since we cannot change the past!
I also want to commend you for sharing your personal story of circumstances that led you to the decisions you made at that time in your life! I have always paid very close attention to all of my gay friends and colleagues, as well as intelligent members of this group, such as yourself, that are older & wiser than I am! We all as a society learn from history, and hope that we do not make the same mistakes or decisions that we made in earlier eras and generations?!
I can tell you that in my experience, listening to and learning from gay men older than me, who experienced a very different environment than I experienced, has given me much wisdom in decisions I make today!! I have also been able to understand & appreciate the "plight" of the gay community, especially what gay men of earlier generations had to deal with, as well as how they handled living in society at that time! I can tell by the way your message is written, that you are a positive thinker & do not waste your time second guessing on the past decisions you felt were right to make at that time! It's also very obvious that you care for & love your family and children!
As I've discussed before, although we come from different generations, even in my own generation, I was still in a similar position that you were, in regards to being surrounded by conservative and religious family and friends. I made the choices I did, because of my situation & surroundings at that time! However, I also am astutely aware that previous generations were even harder to live in, than what I had to deal with in my own generation! I have great respect for gay men that had a much harder time than I did, while growing up as a gay boy & then maturing as a gay man!
Thank you again, for sharing your personal experiences! Stories such as yours, as well as listening to advice from gay men who have gone before us, is a marvelous & awesome experience for all younger generations! By TRULY LISTENING, It's a great opportunity to gain more wisdom! I can't think of anything better or more priceless than that! Marki :-)
Sent from "Marki's" Android O.S. 2.4 LG Optimus (Smartphone).
From: Warren Field <warrenfield1@mac.com>;
To: <Peckers_Pics@yahoogroups.com>;
Subject: Re: [Peckers_Pics] Male/Gay Health-Discussion-PICS Model Wars-Jun 22, 2011-Countdown w/Keith Olbermann-Current TV (M-F) 8PM EST
Sent: Tue, Jun 28, 2011 4:24:44 AM
I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me because I was married to a
woman.
I don't know how old "Jeffrey in Detroit" is, but when I got married
at 23 (35 years ago), I did not do it erroneously - at the time I
thought that it was the right thing to do and I truly loved her. I
was just unaware of my gay feelings because I was not living in a
time, nor had i grown up at a time nor in a circumstance where I was
able to explore/understand/articulate/fulfill those feelings. I was
not in denial because where I lived (New Hampshire, a very
conservative republican, primarily catholic society) and the
religious family in which I grew up did not provide me with the
emotional or social option to even consider those feelings. So I was
unable to talk about how different I felt and those feelings remained
repressed. As I said in my previous message, if I had grown up more
contemporarily and knew then what I know now, I may have made very
different choices - but that is a moot point and I only look forward
in my life. However, I want Jeffrey to know that I do not in any way
regret my 27 year marriage or my 2 beautiful adult sons.
I don't presume to judge anyone else or the choices that they have
made in their lives. But what I have learned - and both Jake and
Marki (each in their own unique ways, as they are from very different
generations) seem to share and promote is what I said above: look
forward, not backward, and work to help create a climate (socially,
legally, societally) where we can all find out and be who we are
openly and happily.
Warren
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