----- Original Message -----From: Mark TillmanSent: Wednesday, June 29, 2011 10:19 AMSubject: Re: [Peckers_Pics] Male/Gay Health-Discussion-PICS Model Wars-Jun 22, 2011-Countdown w/Keith Olbermann-Current TV (M-F) 8PM EST
Hey there jeffrey :-) I thank you for your sentiments, but you don't need to feel sorry for those of us, that in a way, were forced to choose marriage to a woman for various reasons. Actually, I should speak for myself! Even if I knew what I know today, or could go back in time, I can't tell you definitively what I would do differently??!! Of course it would have been nice to have never married a woman at all, especially as young as I was at the time! It would have "technically" been the right thing to do for both of us! However, I can tell you that even though 6 months into our failing marriage & after I found out that she had "tricked" & "deceived" me by getting pregnant intentionally, to in her mind save our marriage, I too used her and deceived her by not backing out like I knew I should at that time, since I was very aware that I was gayer than gay & sure as hell knew that I didn't do "fish"! I was definitely aware that I preferred "meat", and always have! ;-) I'm sincerely happy for your "Courage" to back out & were able to do the right thing by her, and for yourself! Another reason I probably wouldn't change the past, even if I could, is because of my daughter! She means more to me than anyone! Next in line is my partner!
Although she's 17 years old & will be 18 years old in 5 days, July 3rd, but thinks she's smarter than I, which of course she couldn't have inherited from me.....and acts as if she is going on 21, which of course was so foreign to me as a teenage, budding, closeted queen! ;-) Of course, I never acted that way! I was just simply an angel...NOT! LOL ;-) Let's just say the apple didn't fall far from the tree! This diva inherited my sharp whited gay tongue of sarcastic "come backs" & my ability to use humor, as well as the ultimate true art of "reading" someone up, down, left & right....FO SHO....and her array of about 30 pairs of shoes, well.....as a teenager, I think I may have had her beat on that issue! Actually, looking back on things, how my parents had NO idea I was gay, is just simply beyond me?! LOL! Nevertheless, I'm so proud of her and how she turned out as such a well adjusted teenager, practically a young adult woman, especially since the state considers her an adult at 18 years of age! Regardless of the up's and down's of raising a girl.....well....I just wouldn't ever Change that for anything at this point in my life!
I'm only 38 years old! (Tilting my head with a smirky grin & pouting my lips as I type...lol) Since we're only 20 years apart because I had her at such a young age of 20, she actually thinks it's kind of cool! Mainly because all of her friend's parents, while growing up in school, especially High School, were normally much older than me. So that made her friends think that "Carli has a cool dad...he's not old like my parents"! LOL!
OKAY, ALL you young, hung, and full of c*m, guys in your 20's, can stop laughing now that I referred to myself as "young", at 38 years old! LOL! Just wait until you turn 30! Every little blemish you see in the mirror, every premature gray hair you find, every single start of a line towards crows feet that nobody would EVEN notice....but you notice & that's all that will matter, making many of you want to run to your nearest & dearest Plastic Surgeon for a little bit of "freezer" and/or "filler", to keep you from having a nervous, nelly little crying fit! LOL! I hear all about it each week at work at the Hospital, while lunching with one of my best gay friends who see's it daily as a Plastic Surgeon! Then you go home feeling as though you regained a few years, along with the peace of mind that you have all your "princess points" back, as you continue to gaze at yourself in the mirror thinking, "I'm just absolutely, gorgeously FIERCE! Ready or not boys, here comes your prize for tonight at your most frequented club/bar! I promise you that you will not find aging in the gay male community "cute" at all! LOL! Thank God I was blessed with good skin all through my teenage years!! Unfortunately, my best friend in high school here in America, who is also gay & now is jetting around the country as a flight attendant (imagine that......a gay man being a flight attendant....how odd?) LOL! Anyway, he was not blessed with perfect skin, and dealt with acne everyday through his teenage years! He was still gorgeous then, and still is today.... the little bitch! LOL! I'm just kidding! I guess my point is, as a general rule within the gay male community, looks and vanity are of the utmost importance, especially in your teenage years and 20's! Usually, once you turn 30 years old, most gay nelly queens, cry their little eyes off the older they get! I'm not saying that all 30 something gay males, suddenly have a breakdown and do not continue taking care of themselves physically! On the contrary....it seems like once you hit 30, it's just harder to keep that perfect image, than it was growing up and in your 20's!
So Sorry, I digressed! I hope that you hearing part of my story, Will help you understand more about men getting married to women?! Also, I wanted to share with you about my daughter and our family dynamics. Especially in today's world, life in America, we as a GLBT individuals, are having to fight the religious far right wing nutcases, for the freedom of having a family, without fear that our children will be bullied, made fun of, and even be treated differently by society....including their teachers at school, as well as their friend's parents. Another major issue within GLBT families, regarding the gay or lesbian parents, is proving our case to the general "straight" public, many times in court, that same-sex parents choosing to raise children and have families of our own, does not damage the children in any way! In fact, I would claim that same-sex parented families, as a general rule, raise their children to accept diversity in their own lives, far better than heterosexual parented families! This is true, in my opinion, because children raised in same-sex parented families see diversity every day while growing up in a diverse environment, where very few "straight" families intentionally expose their children to diversity, especially religious far right parents! Children raised in these types of sheltered, one way of thinking, non-diverse, and often extremely judgemental families, are not being taught "Individualism", which is exactly what seems to be producing "bullies", and very often leads to these negative characteristics and behavior being ingrained in the child's Psyche, as they transform into adulthood, thus creating a cycle of this "taught" behavior and ideals! Marki
Sent from. "Marki's" Android O.S. 2.4 LG Optimus (Smartphone).
From: jeffreyb4 ;
To: ;
Subject: Re: [Peckers_Pics] Male/Gay Health-Discussion-PICS Model Wars-Jun 22, 2011-Countdown w/Keith Olbermann-Current TV (M-F) 8PM EST
Sent: Mon, Jun 27, 2011 8:08:02 PM
I really feel sorry for those of us who were forced into marriage with a woman. I came very close to that but backed out. I lead a completely gay life & I love it.
Jeffrey in DetroitFrom: MassiveJO
To: "Peckers_Pics@yahoogroups.com"
Sent: Mon, June 27, 2011 6:50:02 AM i
Subject: Re: [Peckers_Pics] Male/Gay Health-Discussion-PICS Model Wars-Jun 22, 2011-Countdown w/Keith Olbermann-Current TV (M-F) 8PM EST
Well I did.
Totally repressed gay man. I could not be gay. Life, culture, family, religion said so. Any attractions to men were ' thoughts from the devil'. I knew no gay men in my life except one who tried to force "a s-x event on me - showing me on a tour at of a work bathroom during my orientation and threatening me with lost of my new job....i still ran and probably more into the closet and homophobia. I also had strong desires for a family. S-x with a woman was satifying but until figuring it out online at a bodybuilding site M4M and getting to speak to real gay men who were like me in soo many levels the light bulb finally kicked on that I WAS LIKE them. Gay s-x with even limitedly interested gay men was WAY better than with women. Now the thought of s-x with a woman is repulsive to me for any reason. I know who I am. Hope my kids and grandkids that are gay have an easier time with exposure and acceptance of their lives......Johnny in Ohio
On Jun 26, 2011, at 11:49 AM, "Greg" wrote:
> I am curious to know how a gay man can get a woman pregnant.
>
> I don't think I could do that if I tried. If I could, that would make being a closeted gay so much easier ...
>
> Just sayin' ....
>
> Anybody else have thoughts on this?
>
> *greg
>
> Moderator: Greg.. Guys are being honest and telling us about themselves. Lets make this simple. Ever turn out the lights and think about someone else? Add a drink or 2 and let your imagination go. ......jake
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Mark Tillman
> To: Peckers_Pics Yahoo Group ; sresolvert@yahoo.com
> Sent: Wednesday, June 22, 2011 6:59 PM
> Subject: Re: [Peckers_Pics] Male/Gay Health-Discussion-PICS Model Wars-Jun 22, 2011-Countdown w/Keith Olbermann-Current TV (M-F) 8PM EST
>
> Hello there Stephen! :-) WOW! As a father of 1 daughter, 17yrs old until 2.5 weeks from now (July 3rd).....but thinks she's going on 21....LOL! My hat definitely goes off to you!! Being a "stay at home" dad or mom, is a lot harder than one may think, especially until an individual tries actually doing it full time, everyday, without breaks (or very few breaks), and on and on it goes, never stopping, and THAT you know! LOL! My partner and I have raised my daughter since she was 11yrs old. She had primarily lived with my ex wife, up until the age of 11. Yes, I am gay..... Always have been and always knew that I liked boys growing up! Once I hit puberty, I then understood exactly what it all meant, and very quickly progressed from just liking boys, to frothing at the mouth over guys.... which then turned into going gaga over men!
>
> Long story short, because of my family upbringing, "outing" myself during my teen years was absolutely, positively, NOT an option! Unfortunately, my own fears of family and friends suspecting anything of the sort, would have been literally catastrophic to me in my case!! Even though I was certain of my sexual orientation, especially by High School, fear is what kept me "closeted" to everyone except a few friends! At university, I gave in and got married (to a woman), after being severely pressured! Our marriage lasted 5 years, but she got pregnant after only 6 months of being married! It was definitely a huge shock to me!! I didn't want children until about 30yrs old, after university, and I was settled in my career! She was very aware of my wishes! We both had Mutual gay friends, but she suspected that I was gay and constantly tried getting it out of me or from questioning our mutual gay friends! Since she could see that our marriage was deteriorating at a rapid pace, unbeknownst to me....she quit taking her birth control pills and started poking pinholes in my condoms, hoping that she would get pregnant, thus saving our marriage! Pretty shitty if you ask me! She ended up pregnant very quickly, as you might imagine! Needless to say, after finding out her devious acts, I decided to "come out" to her & my family.
>
> Although we were going to be divorced in a couple of year's, after finding out she was pregnant, I never chose to abandon my responsibility of being a father! Since we both had equal joint custody, but my ex labeled as "primary", once we were divorced a few years later, I spent as much time with my daughter as physically possible! I tell you this because, for quite a few years after she was born and after our divorce a few years later, our scheduals were very tight! Finishing up university and then completing medical school, while also taking turns watching and caring for our daughter, was like having 3 full time jobs...school, my actual paid job, and switching back and forth each week as to who was responsible for taking care of our baby daughter
>
> Sent from "Marki's" Android O.S. 2.4 LG Optimus (Smartphone).
>
>
>
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