I just wanted to open up a discussion regarding the gay culture and obesity and it's effect on self-esteem.
Granted, obesity is a major health issue and people that are fat (i.e. like me) need to change for no other reason than that.
However, it seems like the gay culture highly discriminates against people that are fat and we seek out people that have "perfect" bodies, regardless of what those bodies look like. I keep seeing ads on Craigslist and other cruising sites that say things like, "NO FATTIES" or other really mean things. Or, in person, fat people just get ignored.
I know how these things affect me and the damage that being fat has done to my self-esteem, but I would really like to hear how others feel about the situation. It just seems to me that being fat in gay culture is worse than being gay in the church.
Thanks for your comments (and please remember that this is meant to open dialogue, not get bashed).
Tom
Moderator: Tom, it is excellent that you brought this up. I would not want to be with any person who uses hateful languagenor displays disrespect towards others. Therefore, even if you were thinner, this saves you time from being with a hateful, obnoxious person. I just commented on another person who discussed his need for multiple relationships. Tom, "do you love, like, trust and have honesty with yourself?" Regardless of you physical condition, you still need to find a way to embrace these factors. also, the people you brought up are looking for one-night stands. They are not seeking a relationship. What do you want? There are adult bars for all body types. We do lack community groups for LGBT needs. Time to forget the children, or those who still need to grow up. In the pics section of my posts, i place pics of fit guys to help inspire you to get in shape. Perhaps you may want to speak with your Medical Doctor and find a nutritionist. Do not just take a diet pamphlet from your Medical Doctor. No one reads it, no one follows it. A nutritionist is excellent for guiding, helping you. The nutritionist may give you the support to find a way to exercice as well as the person should be aware of your physical condition, likes, dislikes. If you are failing on thew diet, than seek another nutritionist. They normally do not cost much and they may help save you money with food. When you get in shape, please do not go out with the haters. They do not deserve you nor anyone - as they are missing one or more of these factors: "To love, like, trust, be honest with oneself." I guarantee you that they are fractured as a person.
Now, why in gay culture are so many - judgmental, hateful? Well being gay often means we were victimized/bullied at school. Not respected by religious groups and so-called straight people, or in life and our values may become fragmented. Than came the Aids/HIV crisis. Men had to get in shape, they were angry about having such a disease, taking medications, watching their body change. So they became obsessed with exercise. They are often angry and lash out at others. Even the AMA has found that medical support for the LGBT community is almost non-existent. Therefore, we lack psychological understanding, medical needs are not met. Employers discriminate. Family often does not appreciate your personal love life. When you decide to get married to another man, family may not be as elated towards a same gender wedding. They do not understand why the marriage is so important. Finally, we become bitter!
When our gov't recognizes us as normal people, gives us full equal rights, a lot of the bitterness may disappear. Want us to be happy people? Than grant us equal rights. Now, that is how one begins with building family values.
....Jake
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"Every gay and lesbian person who has been lucky enough to survive the turmoil of growing up is a survivor. Survivors always have an obligation to those who will face the same challenges."
...Jake (Moderator)
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